Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Holidays to all of my lovelies!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The back of Mama's head. This picture is expressly for the female members of my family. Mmm-hmmm. You damn right you should thank me.

Monday, December 22, 2008

I had forgotten how much I love this movie. Every one is so drop dead gorgeous and the setting and scenery are so fine you can nearly taste it.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Have I mentioned the snow? Or that I finally decorated for Christmas? Uh-huh, yeah it consists of one strand of lights, 3 Christmas cards, 8 stockings and and about 4 decorations strung across my sliding glass door. I'd take a picture but really ya'll, it's just down right embarrassing. Even for me, and I usually try to embrace my inner and outer redneck. All I need is garland made out of beer caps.

What I've read: "The Mercy of Thin Air" by Ronlyn Domingue. A lovely book, really.
"Water For Elephants" by Sara Gruen. Also lovely. "Life As We Knew It" by Susan Beth Pfifer. Terrifying. And I finished "Monsters Of Templeton" which I thought I liked but a day after finishing it occurred to me that the main character was a stuck up bitch and her mama was a flake. But it was well told.
So Mama's flight wasn't scheduled to land until 11:30am. But it snowed a foot the night before so we left early to pick her up. Long (and I ain't kidding around when I say long) story short. We arrived at Logan Airport at 10:30am and Mama's plane didn't land until nearly 4pm. But she's here and we're all pretty much stuck inside because it's snowing like all get out. So the following pictures are for all my family and friends who live in the warmer climates. Perhaps later, if I'm feeling brave or drunk I'll take a hike down the drive way and try to capture some more scenic images.

Frickin' Snow

Monday, December 15, 2008

Today I woke up at 10:30am. Was immediately embarrassed by my slothfulness so I (sort of) cleaned out the fridge and vacuumed. It's been freakishly warm. Ten days before Christmas and it's 60. And I have to say, if the weather wanted to stay like this up until April or so I wouldn't be the least bit miffed. Global warming, shmobal warming... I hate wearing coats.

I got a Christmas card from Sherry today so I gave her a call and she called me back and we caught up which is so awesome and makes me feel a lot better about everything. This, my friends, is the reason for the season. To reacquaint ourselves. Home and hearth and togetherness. Warm, fuzzy, bunny kisses and all that shit.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

So it rained for a month of Sundays. Then we lost power for about 8 hours yesterday which suits me just fine except I had to go to Mike and Judy's and shower. Aside from worrying over money and reading all the time and getting excited about Mama visiting, there ain't a whole lot going on. I've told Mama we're going to make a quilt while she's here and she started with the list of things we're gonna need. Should keep us busy. Tonight I made a chocolate bread pudding. My grandmama would've been proud.

What I'm reading: "The Monsters of Templeton" by Lauren Groff. Good stuff. Tried reading a couple of the books that were recommended by "library thing" and Amazon. Frankly, they sucked. Perhaps it's just not the right time. And earlier this afternoon I went to the Dollar Tree and found new copies of "Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell" by Susanna Clarke in hardback for one measly dollar. Sha-Sha!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Things I want to learn how to do:

1) Play "What Child Is This" on the guitar.
2) Knit a scarf.
3) Sew a quilt.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Here come Mama! We finally wore her down and I made sure I conversated with her last night right around her happy pill time. You can talk Mama into just about anything then. Actually, you can talk Mama into anything most any old time. That's one of her glorious qualities. So she's flying into Boston December 20 and she'll be here for a little over 2 weeks. And I'm most excited about it because A) She hasn't been up here in over a year, closer to two, and 2) This will be the first time I've had any significant time off while she's visiting, and D) She'll be meeting her grandkitties for the first time!

I've gone through all of my old sneakers and boots and have finally found that my Salomon hikers are the only ones that are semi-comfortable. Which is cool because I never wear them so it's like having a brand new pair of shoes... plus, they're red. Saw Dr. Scanlon this morning and he said my foot is still somewhat swollen but it's healing nicely. He also said it's probably smart of me to stay out the entire allotted time out because if I go back to work too soon I might end up chewing my foot off.

After the doctor we went to Thompson and put Christmas flowers on John's Aunt Emily's grave. Then we rode by the house his Aunt owned. The house that could have potentially been John's. It's a tiny house, but it's so freaking adorable and there's a little brook on the property with a New Englandy stone wall. Every time we go by it I make John explain to me again why they had to sell it and then I show him where I would have put my vegetable garden and my fruit trees and then I pout and sulk for 30 seconds. It's a little tradition we have.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

When I took those pictures I thought they were cat prints. Now I'm not so certain.
I forgot it was supposed to snow last night so when I woke up this morning I was all WTF? The cats are acting like it's Mardi Gras and our roof is Bourbon St.

We ventured out earlier and I hobbled around the grocery store cussing under my breath and trying not to break out into a cold sweat. Yeah, shoes hurt that much. Made green beans and meatballs and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and am now thanking the clothing gods for the invention of elastic waist bands.

Mama may (heh) come up for Christmas. She called last night and asked me to look up airfare. Before that she went off onto to some tangent about a friend of hers whose husband is a man of somewhat standing in their community and how he takes anti-depressants but her friend *whispers* about it when it's discussed. Mama said she doesn't understand why the hell she whispers. "Why doesn't she want anyone to know?" she asks me. So I'm trying to explain to her that for a lot of people, medical issues are a very private matter. Particularly mental health issues. So then Mama's all, "Well I take them and I don't care who knows." And I'm 7 states away, rolling my eyes when I remember that I've publicly blogged all about my sprained brain. So I changed the subject. These oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are the best I've ever made. See how easy that was.

Finished reading "Mystic River" yesterday. John and I saw the movie in the theater when it came out and I remember we both agreed that it was really good, but the ending was so cold and just... wrong. Now, after reading the book, I'm realizing that the story is Dave Boyle's frickin' story and Clint Eastwood gave it to Sean Penn. And Sean Penn did a kick-ass job. But Tim Robbins won the Oscar, people and even THAT isn't justification for taking the story away from Dave Boyle. What I'm saying is... the book was better than the movie.

Reading Dennis Lehane's "Shutter Island" now.

First Snow

Friday, December 5, 2008

Last year I read "Field of Darkness" by Cornelia Read and afterward I posted a review on Amazon. So this morning I'm putzing around online and I'm checking out my Amazon profile and guess who asked me to be their friend? Guess who liked my review of her book and asked ME to be HER friend? Oh hells yeah. Cornelia Read. So I pretty much thought I was the coolest girl at the lunch table for the rest of the day.

Other than that. I'm wearing the same clothes I went to bed in last night. Mama told me the other day that she has to wear socks to bed every night and I'm like, yeah, me too. Then she says she can't stand for the toes of the socks to be too snug. Yeah, me neither. And how her favorite socks to wear are the ones they give you in the hospital, the ones with the little rubber nubs on the soles and how she doesn't even care if they match or not because they're so comfortable and in fact, at that moment she was wearing one grey one and one brown one. And I swear to God I'm not shitting you when I say that at that same moment I was wearing one grey nubby sock and one brown nubby sock. Like grim death. That's how tightly I'm hanging on to my denial.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

That's me in the mirror. With my suhster-girls in Savannah. I so heart them.
Okay class, today's blog lesson is about connectedness. Which may or may not be a word... So John and I are talking about our friends and acquaintances and people who cross our paths and I'm telling him about the beauty of blogs and polyvore. How they allow me to feel connected to folks that are of the same mind frame as I/me am. The truth of the matter is I grew up in, what was at the time, a really small town. I love it today, but back then I hated the dirt out of it. And though I tend to get along really well with just about everyone, I've always felt a little left of center. I was "that baby girl of Bobby and Carolyn's. The one that likes to read and dresses kind of funny." Fast forward 20 years and I'm still a bit of an odd duckling. But I've learned to embrace it and I'd like to think that instead of coming across as off-putting, my qualities are now found endearing. That being said, the invention of the Internet is a wonderful thing for oddballs who grow up in tiny little hick towns. In these vapid-ass, silly-ass times, it's important to feel connected to other truth-dwellers, folks out there living their lives with a purpose and with joy. It's encouraging, ya'll.

Two cats...maybe tree.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

So our nasty hateful granny cat is home! And if you'll check out the pictures below, you can see that she has reclaimed her throne beneath the bed and has also regained her appetite. Beatrice is a right foul little git. I've had her since I was 20. I picked her out of the litter before her eyes were even open and the day I took her home she fit in the palm of my hand and I cried. For the next year we were each others only companions. She is my familiar and an extension of my soul. Once, my mama visited a psychic (Angela Moore- there's a link in my good stuff column) and when mama asked about me, Angela said I had a cat with a terrible disposition and that she had been with me through several lives. John said he's pretty sure one of those lives involved me and Bea swinging from the end of a rope. Which, as it turns out, is pretty ironic, because they did hang 5 women in Salem on my date of birth in 1692. What the hell am I rambling about? Dunno. Point is, Bea's home.

John and I grabbed a few groceries earlier. I wore Nikes and by the time I hobbled back to the car I was ready to gnaw my foot off. Came home and cleaned. Picked up Bea. Baked cookies for the folks at the vet hospital because they've been extra good to us, ate left over potato soup and more than my share of cookies and here I am now. Again.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Since being out of work I've discovered Quaker Oatmeal Squares cereal. I'm not really a big cereal fan. John, on the other hand, is perpetually in the middle of like 5 different boxes. A few days ago he brought me a bowl of the Quaker and damn, Sam. They're really good. Especially with some chopped pecans and warm milk. I even went so far as to e-mail Quaker and kiss their collective asses. They sent a very lovely response.

What else? Bea's back at the vet's office for the night. She hasn't eaten in two days and she won't keep her Clavamox down. Dr. Norris said she has a fever and she's giving Bea some high powered antibiotics and fluids and keeping her over night.

We came home, I took a Xanax, made a potato soup, called my Mama, stubbed my already aching toe, tried not to have a hissy fit and sat in the recliner with Lenny wrapped around my chest.
I showed John the pictures of my foot that I've posted on here and he said he's pretty sure there's some guy in Idaho living in his mother's basement who's downloaded all of them.

Well Boom-chicka-wow.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Yeah, it looks like shite but it's healing up pretty nicely. Before Dr. Scanlon removed the bandages he told me that it was, and I quote, "A big Fuckin' bump." Like a lot bigger than he had anticipated. He said even his scrub nurse commented on it. Which in a sick way validates my pain. Because since I've been contemplating having this surgery everyone else with bunions has felt obligated to show me their feet. And every single one of them has had a worse looking bump than me. So I'm out of work for at least another week. I'm a hurtin' ass unit. The big toe is still partially numb and it's all bruising now, but since the bandage is off I can already feel a difference in the way I walk. Before I thought much of my problem was my arch being so high, now I'm thinking it was that evil twin growing out of my hoof.

The Unveiling

Sunday, November 30, 2008

I've been having to force antibiotics down Bea's throat since she came home from the vet. Because Bea always has one malady or another I've become quite the pro: Squeeze jaw apart at hinges, shove pill to back of throat, close mouth and massage neck. Pretty simple, right? Wrong!!! I seem to have lost my kavorka, because in the past 4 days I've had my thumb bitten so hard it ached into my elbow, I've been seriously puked on, and I've also had my pillow and my side of the bed puked on. Now I know that the Clavamox decreases her appetite and makes her nauseous. But seriously. I was holding her and trying to get the pill down her and she bit the shit out of me. So while I'm yelping in pain and John's chanting: "Don't be mad at her, don't be mad at her.", she starts shaking like she's having a seizure and then blech. Friskies ocean white fish. John laughed, but only for about 2 seconds because I burst into tears. That's right. I bawled like a baby. Sobbing and snotting and wailing. It was just all too much. So John had to take her out of my arms and then pull my sweatshirt off and help wash puke out of my hair and then bring an alcohol pad for my wounded thumb. And I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. Then a few hours ago she blew chunks of turkey all over my relatively new Tony Little micro bead pillow and all down the side of the bed. I'd feel sorry for her, only she seems a little too self satisfied and my thumb still hurts.
I keep having to tell myself that it's Sunday because this whole not working thing tends to screw with the calender. It's also sleeting and snowing. (!) There's a layer of slush on the roof and the driveway.

Last night I finally finished "The Likeness". Criminey crow. The last 30 pages were sheer agony. I enjoyed so many aspects of it. The characters and the interaction and setting were all top notch. The story line blew.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Mama told me yesterday that they ate Thanksgiving dinner at the Golden Corral. Then she said as everyone was getting ready to leave, Daddy went to the bathroom and was gone so long that she forgot and left without him. She said, "I was about to leave your daddy at the restaurant." Then she tells me that she pulled out of the parking lot and Sarah and John had to flag her down and ask her who was supposed to be bringing daddy home. Uh-huh, "about". She gets back to the Golden Corral and Daddy's still in the bathroom. He's fine, but I wouldn't have wanted to be the guy in the next stall. So I asked him, "When do you think she would have remembered you Daddy?" And he said, "Aw, probably 'bout Tuesday or so."
Yesterday was way fun even though I didn't get to have beer or wine. Holidays at Mike and Judy's are the only time I ever imbibe, you know, to feel part of the social scene, and this year I was holding hands with my new friend vico-profen so I could only make kissy faces at Sam Adams from across the dinner table. At any rate, the food was excellent and the company was fun and we had a grand time.

This is what I've learned so far about being physically impaired: Yesterday I went with John to Stop and Shop because there were a few things I wanted to make sure we had in the house. I rode around the store in one of those complimentary scooters. It was like being invisible. 8 out of 10 people completely ignored me. Walked in front of me and cut me off and all kinds of rudeness. Now at first I thought it was a Yankee thing. And I've lived here long enough that I'm more than willing just to chalk it up to poor up-bringing and cold weather. Daddy has to use a scooter or a walker to go any distance over 10 feet so I called him to bitch. He said people are idiots down there too. How discouraging.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

John painted 4 of my exposed toes last night so that they would match my pants. Lovely man.
Maybe it's the drugs talking, but at this particular moment I am totally psyched about the holidays. Sitting here waiting on John to get out of the shower, listening to Holiday Pops on XM and calculating how much sweet potatoes I can eat before making myself sick, prob'ly not a whole lot seeing as how I feel nauseous all the time. Tonight I'm going to make a green bean casserole and sausage stuffing.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Rooted in sand and red dirt. Bobby and Carolyn.

Happy Thanksgiving every one! I am home from the hospital, minus one bunion and a couple bone spurs. On the whole it wasn't a terribly unpleasant experience. John picked Bea up from the vet and she's doing very well. The bill was way less than we had anticipated, like a third less than it probably should have been. Dr. Norris will be the recipient of a treat and goodie bag very soon. Hell, I may as well bake since I'll need to keep myself occupied for the next couple of weeks. My foot's numb still, so I already hobbled around and made a chocolate pecan pie for tomorrow.

Things for which I am thankful: Mama and Daddy. Because no matter who you are, as long as you're respectful you are welcomed and loved in their home. Because they blow all those Southern stereotypes right out of the pond and they make me proud.
And for John. Because he's big and lovely and makes me laugh so hard I cry. Because he loves me like my daddy loves my mama.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

So John took Bea to the vet this morning and they had to sedate her and clean her teeth and pull one of them. Poor little old granny cat. We called to see if we could pick her up and they said she's still too groggy and because of her age and her history of seizures, they decided to keep her over night. Now I'm all at sea. This house is not a home without a Bea-cat. What to do? And of course, tomorrow is foot choppin' time. I'd be a liar, liar, pants on fire if I said I wasn't nervous. I haven't been anesthetized since I had my breast reduction 12 years ago. Unless you count that Christmas I got pissed off at a certain someone who shall remain nameless, drank an entire bottle of wine in about an hour and passed out in the hallway. That'll learn 'em. But no. What is it about being put under? It's probably safer than just going to sleep. You got all those people monitoring you and you're hooked up to all those machines, what's the big deal? Who am I trying to convince? I think I'm more nervous about having to go the whole day with no coffee and then coming home with my bloody foot wrapped up like a canned ham. And if those jokers at that hospital think they're gonna send me home with some extra strength Tylenol or some such happy horseshit I'm gonna go 3 kinds of redneck on their asses.

What I'm reading: "The Likeness" by Tana French. Finally got far enough into that I'm deriving some pleasure.

Finished reading: "This Body" by Laurel Doud. Totally interesting. Middle aged woman with kids and a husband dies in her sleep and wakes up in the body of a 22 year old wild child who has just o.d'ed.

Finished reading: "Keeping you a Secret" by Julie Ann Peters. YA book about an overachieving all-american high school girl who falls in love with the openly gay new girl at school. Damn book broke my heart.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Usually I can't get to sleep before 11pm. But this week I've been drooling on my pillow before 10 every night. Maybe it's the Cymbalta. This of course means I'm up every morning at 5am. Doesn't suck so much as it freaks me out.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

How cold is it? Nasty cold. Maybe if we'd eased into it I'd be feeling a little better about it. But last weekend it was 60 and now it's 20 and all of my extremities are either numb or leaking. So far this week I've had to call 2 insurance companies about my short-term disability pay out. Then I saw my doctor, who EKGed me and then I had blood drawn at the hospital lab and now I have to go for a stress test on Monday. All this for a got-dang toe. A TOE here people! If I knew I wouldn't wharf my guts out I'd down a fifth of jose cuervo and do it my own damn self. Duct tape a towel to my foot and not leave the bedroom for 3 weeks.

And you know what else? It's gonna suck not having a Thanksgiving dinner. But I'm supposed to be completely off that foot for a few days afterward. This will have to be improved upon.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Vera Pauline Cauley Kelley Wright age 16 circa 1940

Today I thought about things like: What if I lived in New Orleans? Or Savannah? Or Charleston? Or some other sultry Southern city where things were green for most of the year and the air smelled salty from the sea and the sun was warm, even in January. And I thought about how I hate wearing shoes, but I like wearing socks and I thought about how Sherry and I used to walk barefoot around Myrtle Beach and our feet would be black for the whole summer and then that made me think about my Uncle Willie who never ever wore shoes. He only owned one pair and he'd had that pair since 1968. And when he died, about ten years ago, his kids had "Shoeless Willie" engraved on his gravestone. And that made me think about my Grandmama and so I took a picture of a picture.

Sometimes I wanna clunk their heads together like the Three Stooges.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

It's windy and cold. It's soup and coffee weather, so I made soup and coffee. It's also only 5pm and already pitch black outside. It feels like time is sliding through my fingers. Yesterday I was 22 and flying by the seat of my pants. I don't necessarily miss it, just sort of nostalgic about it, or around it, or whatever. I used to go to concerts by myself (Tori Amos) and not give a shit because I knew I'd meet people and it was all good. I used to find myself bored at midnight and decide to hop in the car and drive an hour and half to Asheville and spend the rest of the morning smoking American Spirits and drinking Guinness with Natalie and April and whoever else happened to be around. I used to spend weekends with my sister Wendy, driving mountain roads, hiking waterfalls, sifting through the ruins of old houses and swilling Sun Drop.

I'm glad I was the one who did those sorts of things. But I'm sad for the rootless girl who never had a role to fill.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

It's 65 degrees here. Tropical and windy and rainy. Haven't left the yard.

That's about all I've got.

Friday, November 14, 2008

My foot surgery is scheduled the day before Thanksgiving. Goody. AND... there's a bone spur nestled in the knuckle of my toe. So double goody.

Last night I went 12 rounds with a 5 pound calico and got my ass owned. Nasty little beast bit my thumb and scratched me till I bled in 3 separate areas. I'll probably wind up with distemper. Or maybe kennel cough.

This has been such a hectic week. Mentally and physically exhausting. I've been trying not to over-tax my brain. Stopped reading "The Likeness" and started reading a Lisa Kleypas novel. Can't watch anything more engrossing than "That 70's Show".

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Nut-less wonders

Don't be fooled by the cute. There're only 2 of them and I've already had to clean the litter box 3 times. And one of them broke my made-in-occupied-Japan tea cup. The one I bought for 50cents at the Salvation Army. ARGH!

Ya'll, that's 7 toes.

This is what I do to anesthetized cats. I exploit their abnormalities.

Monday, November 10, 2008

There are 4 cats somewhere in this trailer and in the past 2 hours I've seen nary a one. I hear them though. Warm gentle purrs from various corners. And Bea is sequestered in the bedroom... probably sprouting thumbs as I type, so as to better grip the knife she'll use when she stabs me to death in my sleep. Bea hates cats.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

This morning I let Mae back outside. It's sunny and 55 degrees and he's been de-wormed, and de-flead and is recovering well. What did I do before I became host to this party of parasitical felines? Read and bitched and planned vacations. Now I've decided to stop vacating for a while.

Here's a little something odd, that has nothing to do with c-a-t's. For the past couple of months I've been having dreams that are slightly prophetic. Not dead on exact and no end of days stuff. But small thangs. Dreaming of losing a tooth and finding out that my sister actually lost the same tooth within a day of the dream. Dreaming of a funeral at my landlord's house and finding out that his cousin had just died. That sort of thing.

I've been busy with doctors and vets and all that adult shite. I've probably read 5 pages of "The Likeness" in the past week. Which sucks cause I really like it. Today I want to clean a little and relax a lot.

Friday, November 7, 2008

All I have to say is he's really furry and black and I could never get very close to him anyway. That's my excuse for thinking that Mae was a girl. Mae ain't Mae. Come to find out, Mae's a Moe. This we discovered a few hours ago when we picked her up from the vet and discovered that she was a he. Whatever, because he's neutered and that's all I care about. Tuesday we have Lenny and Ernest chopped and then Thursday Agnes, Hootie and Tango. So by this time next week they'll all be done. Don't ask me how I'm gonna handle all this. Convalescing kitties every where. Sore little nether regions and pitiful me-yowls. Part of me feels very productive and useful. The other part wants to run away to the desert and live in a hut.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

a cat day afternoon

Okay. Here's the deal. Yesterday was not a good day for me. I had weaned myself off of Prozac over the course of a month and have been without it for a month and I've been on a downward spiral. Yesterday I crashed. I left work, made it to the parking lot, called my doctor and then had to have John pick me up. Why did I wean myself off of Prozac? Because I felt empty and soul-less. How do I describe what this feels like? Do I even need to? I am embarrassed by all of this. I don't want to talk about it. Mostly because I don't want anyone worrying about me or feeling badly for me. The world is too much and though I'm an organic part of it, well, so is everyone else. If I can deal with this on my own without having to involve a whole flock of family and friends then all the better.

That being said, I can sure write about it. I have been in the desperate throes of depression. Couple that with a few strategically placed anxiety attacks and you have yourself a case of the crazies. I jest. I'm not crazy. Just severely, cripplingly sad. To the point where I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. What does normal feel like? Because I'm pretty sure my brand of normal will be a tad different than the generic kind. I'm a left of center kind of gal. I find pleasure in it. What I don't find pleasure in is feeling completely worthless and stupid and overwhelmed and broken. And I'm sick of my little voice. The voice shrinks call your conscience or your inhibitions. Well my little voice won't shut the hell up. And it will inevitably lead me down the path of regret. And as John says, "The little fucker ALWAYS wins." It's like a screaming kid. You give in just to get them to be quiet for a little while. Only my little voice can't be appeased with a Happy Meal. Mines not happy until I'm weepy and terrified.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Went to work, went to the podiatrist, came home, made supper, made a lot of necessary phone calls. Ate supper and a brownie and an iced mocha latte which, by the way, isn't really part of the diet. Watched part of some gawd-awful Lindsay Lohan movie and then felt really dirty afterward. Like I needed a cigarette and a shower. Speaking of showers, our landlord had a new shower wall installed for us. Exciting.

The podiatrist is sending me to have x-rays and then I go back to see him next week and from there he'll be able to tell what sort of surgery he'll have to do and then how long I'll be out of work with this stupid, stupid foot of mine. In the beginning I was all, "Yay! No work and happy drugs!" Now reality is setting in and I'm beginning to worry about the whole financial aspect. Apparently, when one goes on a medical leave of absence, one has to wait an extra week before the money starts coming in. So I'm hoping they'll give me extra -or as my daddy says, "extrie"- gauze and all that jazz because I sure as hell won't be able to afford to buy it.

Which brings me to Beatrice... my witchey little old lady cat who has to go Thursday to have her teeth cleaned and possibly have a couple extracted. I'm already having heart palpitations anticipating how much that shit's gonna cost me. So long as it improves her health and -oh please God- her attitude, then it will definitely be worth it... unless it's over 300 bucks. If it's over 300 bucks I'm gonna slip on doggie pee-pee and sue the hell out of them.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Two more days

Saturday, November 1, 2008


I'm sure my blog followers -yeah, both of them- are sick of my cat pictures but geezum people... check out Ernest's toes. Some folks are afraid their cats are gonna scratch the furniture. We're afraid he's gonna open the door, steal the car keys and drive away. And I'm not absolutely certain but I believe that thumb may have 2 claws on it. Mee-Ow.

Me and Paulina Katherine. She's named after both of her maternal great-grandmothers and I am forever thankful for her because her birth not only got me out of school for the day but ALSO got me out of a Biology test that I hadn't studied for. She's beautiful and funny and so very good-hearted.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

This is Sherry. My best friend for like 17 years. I've posted her picture because Halloween just isn't Halloween without her. The last one we spent together was probably 3 years ago. In high school we spent it rolling yards and egging cars. One year we dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and went trick-or-treating. Then we graduated to staying home, renting skeer the hell out of you movies, making Ro-tel dip and drinking Sun Drop out of Mason jars. I miss her a lot and most days I resent growing up and evolving... but never more so than on Halloween.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Had the day off so I cleaned out the chicken coop (which may or may not have contained a chicken) and put down fresh straw and a sleeping bag and now it's like a frickin' kitty Hilton. I don't know about the cats but I totally wanted to curl up in there and go to sleep.

I haven't showered or brushed my hair or teeth all day. Hells yeah.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Crazy Cat Lady

Woke up this morning and continued my e-mail correspondence with an extremely encouraging lady named Joan who is helping us to sterilize our cat-clan. I think things are going to work out relatively well. Meaning we're not going to have to fork over hundreds and hundreds of dollars to keep them from pro-creating. I've been losing sleep and what precious little sanity I have left over these orphaned critch-ters. And yet... I'm pretty certain this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Something I'm passionate about, this is what I'm emotionally attached to. Poor pitiful-assed animals. Animals that need my help. I'm gonna end up with a peptic ulcer and a Valium addiction.

I dropped by the orchard today to pick up some cider and a pumpkin and came back to the car with all of those things plus a cat bite. John says I'm the only person he knows who goes grocery shopping and manages to come home with an animal injury. "Cat's don't bite everyone, honey. Just you." I know. I pet and pet and pet until I hit the sweet spot and they repay me with a nip. I explained this to him. He called me Mrs. Pettingwrong for the rest of the afternoon.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I took a trip to Petco to pick up some essentials and then decided to swing by the mall. Really shouldn't have. If you need further proof that you're getting old just swing by your local mall. Everyone is 17 and they're all wearing the same crap I was rockin' in the 8th grade. How can that be? How can trendy 1990 fashion be trendy 2008fashion? It sucked back then too. Who the hell's making the rules? Jelly bracelets, skinny legged jeans with zippers at the ankles, and pseudo-Sam and Libby flats. I eye-rolled my way right out the door of Forever 21.

P.S.-- I'm on the last day of my 3 day diet. Trying to overhaul my metabolism. Or something. As a result I have a headache, I feel woozy most of the time and I've lost all interest in food. On the plus side the hallucinations are most entertaining.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Lenny the rodent slayer

Blurry picture of me and Lenny.
Monday I didn't wake up until 6:15am... so I called in. And even though I'm usually all about staying home as opposed to going to work, I was kind of pissed with myself because it was my last sick day. But whatevah. Been sort of borderline depressed/anxious lately. And my foot is back to hurting as much if not more than it was a month ago. I'm falling apart and I'm sick of hearing the sound of my own voice. Next week I visit my doctor and my podiatrist.

Meanwhile... What I've been reading: "In the Woods" by Tana French. Really excellent read until the last few pages when you figure out that she's not going to reveal the answers to everything. I so frickin' hate it when authors do that. Same thing happened in "The Little Friend" by Donna Tartt. Drove me up a wall. Of course, this will not hinder me from reading Tana Frenchs' other novel, "The Likeness". Last night I read "Gods in Alabama" by Joshilyn Jackson. Not the best book ever, but I'd pass it on to my sisters. She did a really good job constructing the story. Very intriguing. But there were certain aspects that were a little too clever.

Mother Mae-Belle. Surrogate mother to the 2nd litter of leeches.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

John and Bea.

The generation gap. Yesterday as we rearranged the living room I yelled at John about the old 'Hollywood Roasts' VCR tapes that littered the couch. "You and your damn Dean Martin!" And he replied, "Oh yeah? Well you and your damn Doc Martens!".

If he didn't make me laugh so much I'm pretty sure I'd smother him in his sleep.
Yesterday we took out the air conditioners and rearranged furniture. I brought Lenny and Ernest (the 2 outside cats we're able to touch) inside for a few minutes to try to adjust them to being held since we're going to have them fixed in another week. Then I worried for most of the evening about them being too cold outside even though they have plenty of shelter and lots of hay and straw and even though when I go out to check on them at 11pm they come running from the opposite direction of the barns so they must not be feeling the cold as much as we are because if they were they'd GO INSIDE for chrissake. Then I read online about people using emergency blankets, those tin-foil looking things, in cat shelters so I ran out this morning and bought two of those and a couple of insulator pads and then I fixed up their shelters and came inside and bitched at John about how those cats should be more appreciative. How most feral kitties have to sleep in the woods and ditches. And ours are surrounded by a kitty-utopia and are still leery of us.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Finished reading "World Made by Hand" and now I'm see-sawing between fascination and panic. Am now reading "In the Woods" by Tara French. Set in Dublin. Took me a couple of pages to flow with the language but now I'm totally into it.

All of our kitties are home now. I bought a lotus blossom water fountain at Lowes yesterday because I mooned over it all summer and they finally marked it down to $26 from its original $116. I put it together and filled it with water and watched it bubble just to make sure it was going to work and now the cats think it belongs to them. Think again you little leeches. All of the mouse and chipmunk offerings in the world won't change my mind about my garden fountain.

oh Frankie-Baby

This is expressly for my sister Angela! Dedicated to all of those Saturday mornings when she would watch cartoons with me while I ate instant grits out of a tin cup. Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Olive's Birth

Wendy found this on youtube last week. It's so beautiful and well done it makes me cry.

I ordered these Tony Little microbead pillows from HSN. I haven't found a truly comfortable pillow in 32 years. If this thing brings me joy I will take back all of the snarky comments I ever made about Tony Little and his mascara wearing self.
What I've read: "Whistling in the Dark" by Lesley Kagan. One of those stories that would probably be better told than written.
What I'm reading: "World Made By Hand" by James Howard Kuntsler. Am l-o-v-e loving it. Completely realistic look at our not too distant future. I want it to be either a movie or a television series. Which is pretty ironic considering that in this book neither one of these forms of entertainment exists.
Considering I've only worked 15 hours in the past 2 weeks I really shouldn't be so depressed about tomorrow being Monday and thus the beginning of a new week.

But I am.

Beautiful sunny weekend. 3 of the cats have gone MIA. They're like teenagers. You have to give them wings but you still worry like hell about them. Will they return? Are they hurt? Are they happy? Are they fed? Are they warm? And please God, if they're not any of these things don't ever let us find out. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I'm pretty sure John beat me with a bag of oranges last night. I'm so tired and sore I'm giddy. There's a lasagna in the oven and all I want is to stay awake until 9pm so I that my patterns will sort of return to normal. I miss my mama and daddy and my right hand still itches from the bee sting and the dog bite I managed to acquire during my vacation. And yeah yeah yeah... when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeeeeling saaaaaad. I've seen that movie too. Raindrops on roses my ass.

Sage Claire

Me and chunky-monkey and chunky-monkey's mama in the background.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mrs. Wilkes Boarding House.

I'm back. And none too damn happy about it. Savannah was beautimous. We walked and laughed and ate and even managed to be in Savannah during the annual "Junior League Thrift Sale" AND... the wiener-dog race. The inn was lovely. Our first night there we were the only guests. Almost 20 rooms in that house and we were the only ones roaming around. The dude whose the early evening host went all flighty old lady on us. He tried recommending restaurants but kept prefacing suggestions with "You don't want to walk there after dark... it's in the ghetto and you WILL get murdered!" and "Oh I wouldn't recommend going there unless you're going to drive because you WILL be abducted!". First we were shocked and then we laughed at him. Come to find out he was from Los Angeles. Bless his heart. All we wanted to know was where we could find some fried shrimp and collard greens for less than 20 bucks. Cause as much as I love Savannah, it ain't cheap to eat in the historic district. And it's also a bit of a tourist trap down by the river. Our Mama didn't raise no fools. Okay, sometimes we're a bit dingy, but son we know how to eat. Even BLT (short for Bossy Little Thing, which is what we took to calling Angie cause she's a wee bit controlling) and her teeny-weeny little self knows how to put a hurtin' on some fried okra.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

the urban sombrero

So I was browsing through blogs the other day and found "adixiecup" whose blog I've added to my good stuff column. She gave the link for a site called . It lets you make up and design "sets". I think I may have found my calling. As in, " I am a self-proclaimed genius and polyvore is my new calling." At any rate, I'm feeling like J. Peterman.

Tomorrow is my last day of work and then I'm off for 10 whole days. I could weep.

It's rained all week-end. I'm mostly packed and am now the owner of a few new hole-less t-shirts.

The Dresser-Palmer will be my new home for the majority of the coming week.

The Dresser Palmer House

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Happy Birthday to John! We ate Mexican food and tiramisu and tin roof sundae ice cream. I heart birthdays. Tomorrow we go to our nephew Mason's birthday party and then maybe to a movie. Then I have to pack and prepare because I leave Tuesday morning. Am conflicted, per usual. Super excited to be going, but I'm already missing John. Of course the moment I return he'll do something to annoy the piss out of me and I'll wish I was ohm-ing on a rock by myself somewhere.

Books I'm reading: Nuthin'. I think I may be developing adult onset ADD. I really don't know what my damn deal is. John called me a rabble-rouser. I don't feel like I have a problem with authority, I just have a problem with rules for the sake of conformity. Just to keep us all in the herd. I love sheep. They're pretty and soft and sweet. They make lovely noises. But I don't fancy being one. I'm not so much a rule breaker as I am a nudger. It's just all so demeaning.
And this has nothing to do with the books I'm not reading. More like the buttons I keep pushing.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What a crap-ass day. It wasn't even 8am and I was already plotting my exit. I managed to stick to it. Bad decision. So then I was planning on calling in tomorrow. Only I can't really afford it and I'm going on vacation next week and I know I'll regret the lack of cash then. One of those days that makes me wish I had an alcohol problem. Then I could blame the booze.

Happy news: Lenny, one of our outside kitties, has finally fallen under my spell. It wasn't easy, but my powers of seduction finally bested his feline fears. I AM the cat whisperer dammit.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

when I get like this

I've been rearranging my playlist (on the left). Seem to be in a funky/soul sorta mood. Doing a whole lot of head-bobbing and arm waving from the computer chair. Shakin' it like a Polaroid picture.

My vacation begins in less than 2 weeks. 13 days. Wendy called last night and she said she's so excited she wishes she could start packing. Me too. I am absolutely fa-reakin' ready to jet. I even suffered through another cortisone shot in my right hoof just so I could be in tip-top walking shape. I'm prepared to plow my way through cemeteries and across brick streets and sidewalks and sandy gardens and whatever else we happen to stumble upon.

Still semi-reading that Brad Meltzer book. Also reading "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter". A little piece of my soul drowns in tears every time I read that book so I have to limit it to once a decade.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A blurry picture of my veggie burrito at the new Mexican restaurant in Putnam. Delicious.

I've been writing nearly exclusively with the Pilot Precise V5 fine point purple pen since I was 17. Over the years it's become more and more difficult to find them so I tend to buy them in multiples. And then they went and changed the design so that it doesn't write exactly the same way it once did. Then I found the V5 retractable in black. I'll use it to jot down notes on post its or whatever. But lo... I have discovered that it comes in purple. *cue the chorus of angels* I don't own one yet. Only because I'll have to order it on-line and there's something anti-climactic about that. That and I have to talk myself into paying $7 for shipping/handling. For a $2.64 pen. I still think it's mighty purdy.
It's raining. Yesterday I finally got my hair fixed. As in: My hair is broken please fix it. So Rachel, my hair-friend, worked her mojo and now I feel like me again. When I'm feeling a bit more photogenic I'll gussy up and post a pic. That was all I did. Lately I've been sort of addicted to It's an old lady game playing site. I can't say that I love it. I will say that I can't go a day without playing such high-brow games as "Stack 'em" and "Sweet Tooth".

Friday, September 12, 2008

What I've been doing: Suffering from allergy/migraine/body aches. And the foot hurts again. So I have an appointment with the podiatrist next week. So that sucks. But on the happy side we got a brandy-new mattress. Sleeps like a dream. John's resting a lot better which means I'm resting a lot better. Peaceful. Now if we could just keep the cats off the roof. They chase one another across the length of the house regularly between the hours of 9:30pm and 12:30pm.

John flings open the front door yelling "Knock it off you damn kids!". And 30 seconds later they're up there again like a herd of squirrels. If they weren't so flippin' cute I'd... oh hell... who am I kidding? No I wouldn't. Meanwhile, life as an inside cat isn't quite so swell. Bea's been scratching raw, scabby places around her neck. Allergies. Yesterday she got a dose of steroids. She hissed at the vet 3 times but only smacked her once. That's okay though, because she hasn't scratched once today.

What I'm reading: "Book of Fate" by Brad Meltzer.

I do love Fall. Crispy and smokey and biting. Like bacon. My favorite thing about living in New England is that Fall is such a distinct season. Apples and pumpkins. That bite in the air. Soup weather. Hiking in the woods without having to swat at skeeters.
Granted, the picture on the left wasn't taken in Autumn or in New England. It was taken in December in Southport, NC. But I thought the gourds were a lovely nod.

Sunday, September 7, 2008


This is MR2. She came to visit us in late Spring and we fed her. And she came back to visit very often. Sometimes she brought her paramour and we fed him too. And about a month or so later she brought their 3 babies. And we fed them too. And a couple of weeks later she brought her sister and her sister's 3 babies and we fed them too.
That's 9 cats. The only one who would allow us to occasionally touch her was MR2. And the only time the others would allow themselves to be touched was with her around. In the morning, I would open the door to head out to work and she'd be in the apple tree or hanging out on the porch. And she'd squeak at us and we'd coo over her. At night John and I would lie in bed and worry about getting our hands on her long enough to have her spayed.
Last week, our neighbor found her little body in the road in front of his house. He buried her and said she was quite heavy. Which confirms our suspicions that she was pregnant, again.
So now we're foster parents. Her babies, " the babies", as we've called them all summer, aren't really babies anymore. They're long and lanky and though they'll eat out of my hands, I fear I'll never be able to pet them.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Read this week: "A Flaw in the Blood" by Stephanie Barron - "Passion" by Lisa Valdez. Think I've been suffering from a low-grade fever for most of the week and I'm sort of nostalgic for Fall. Sometimes, when I'm awake, I don't know if my memories are mine or if they're dreams from the night before. And sometimes I'm not sure if they're dreams or books I've read.

I should probably work out more.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Last night John and I watched "Vantage Point" and "Juno". The first was pretty okay. The second was too awesome. We've had it for over a month now and I'm such a digit for not watching it sooner. But I loved it so much I want to watch it again... immediately.

We are two poor folk. But I suppose it's all how you're looking at it, right? Today I was ranting- to myself- about China and the Olympics and all that and observing how most of the "store-brand" products of the company that I work for, an American owned and operated company, are made in China. This seems un-right. I understand it's the cheap labor. I get it. So then I was thinking how can we rectify this and blah, blah, blah... so my decision was to stop spending money on "things". That's why we out-source to other countries isn't it? Why we all take advantage of one another? Because we want cheaper things, and lots and lots and lots of them. Of course this isn't really so much a comment on America, as it is a comment on me and my thrifty-spending ass. Exactly how many pairs of Gap jeans and pseudo-funky t-shirts does one aging hipster-doofus need? How many picture frames and candle holders and shiny little baubles? No, really... I want to know. Because a few weeks ago I donated 2 huge garbage bags full of said articles to the Salvation Army, and yet I'm still smothered. To be fair our place is tiny. Too tiny for 2 fleshy adults and 1 rotund feline. Even still. I am sickened by myself. The way I whine about being broke like a joke and then turn around and buy yet another piece of luggage. Friggin' A. Go have another Big Mac, Janet. Don't get me wrong. I'm not aspiring to invest my sweet-moolah. There isn't really anything else I'd rather be purchasing. Although it's about time I start saving up for Savannah. It's just the whole more, more, more mantra that I'm sick of chanting. All the pretty things are out there and I'm feeling over-whelmed and exhausted. So along with the 10 pounds I've vowed to lose by the first of October, I'm also vowing not to buy another non-essential thing for... well, I don't know for how long. Until I break down, I guess.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Books I've read in the past few weeks: A couple more of the P.B. Ryan/Nell Sweeney mysteries. Very good.
"Mephisto Club" - Tess Gerritsen
"Desire Lines" - Christina Baker Kline.
"The Awakening" - Kate Chopin
"Running Out of Time" - Margaret Petersen Haddix
"Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" - John Berendt (3rd read)

And then I've started and stopped a fair few also. A Harlan Coben, an Anne Rivers Siddons, "The Earth House" about finding Buddhism, and a few erotica/romance novels because I've been thinking about developing one of my stories into an erotica novel and I'm looking for inspiration. I read a Lisa Kleypas book, "Suddenly You". It was refreshingly different. And now I'm shoveling my way through a Bertrice Small book. I'm telling myself it's research.

Gooses down by our pond. I am both leery of and fascinated by geese. They have this seductive, calming sort of gait... but they're mean as all get out. John took this picture earlier today on his phone. He also took a picture of his new black eye. Seems he was lying in bed this morning talking on the phone and when he hung the phone back on the cradle it didn't quite click into place. Instead, it fell directly onto his left eye. Normally this would be kind of funny. However, the same damn thing happened to me a year or so ago and I can tell you from first hand experience... ain't funny. Hurts real bad. My encounter with the phone is the reason its antenna is now held on with duct-tape. I threw the damn thing against a wall. So back to John's black eye. I told him it makes him look rakish. Either that or like a 6th grader stole his lunch money.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


First thing this morning I weighed myself. I can not deny it. Posh Spice no longer has reason to fear me. So John went to Dunkin's and bought himself a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and I requested a coffee and then I guilted him into going walking with me. I did 4 miles and he did 3. We are now pleased with ourselves and ready to take on the world... or at least Putnam. You can't lose weight or remain healthy while you're scarfing down french fries and brownie sundaes on a daily basis. My goal is 10 lbs by the end of September.

Speaking of people who like to eat... last night Angie called me all bored and discontent. So I suggested she walk to the beach and I would try to find her on the live web-cam that's mounted on the Kure Beach Pier. She was game. The only problem is the web-cam only stays in one position for 10 seconds at a time. So I'm sitting at the computer in my underwear with my legs propped up yelling over the telephone, "Run Angie!!! Run to the left of the pier!!!" while she laughs like a fool and hauls-ass across the sand. Finally, I had her climb to the top of the life guard tower and eventually I spotted her. She's waving her arms in the air like she's flagging down a plane and I'm 800 miles away waving my arms at a computer screen. It was the high-light of my week.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Bea had fleas and I have turned 32.

32... that's like, your mother's age. I don't feel like any one's mother. Most times I feel about 15. Restless and indifferent. Haven't blogged in a while because I've been busy de-flea-ing "her". And planning the Scronce Sister's in Savannah vacation that will commence September 30. I'm playing tour guide for 5 days/4 nights. We're staying at the Dresser-Palmer Inn and we're all very excited.

Today is my birthday. Last night John bought my plane ticket for the above mentioned vacation. Visiting Mama and Daddy too so I'll be gone for over a week. I guess that makes it a vacation for John too. We ate dinner at the Nordic Lodge in RI. John ate 5 lobsters and I had (among various other things) a brownie sundae the size of a soccer ball. As we were leaving, our pretty waitress brought me a birthday candle and lit it and told me I had to make a wish right there. So I did. And I hugged her and we walked out the door and lying there 10 feet from us on a lounging deck was a big yellow cat. So I walked over and picked her up and we proceeded to make human/feline magick. She purred and nuzzled and licked my chin and I purred and nuzzled and kissed her head. And she was exactly what I had wished for. A bit of pure unadulterated happiness. It was a good birthday.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Why you run from Pepe'?

So freakin' cute! John likes to feed the outside cat, but I'd rather feed the skunk.