Sunday, May 31, 2009

sunday go to meetin' music



I called Daddy this morning to catch up on all the latest. What fields are getting bushwacked, what animal needs to be fed, who died, who moved, doctors appointments and birthday parties. Mama was sleeping and towards the end of my conversation with Daddy he said, "Uh-oh. I heard a shoe slap on the floor in yonder. Your Mama's after something."

And I said, "Quick Daddy: How many years you been married?".

"Too numerous to count... 48."

John says they don't even keep folks on death row that long.

Friday, May 29, 2009

The other night in the shower I was washing my hair and it triggered memories of my sister Angie. How when I was little she'd sit on the side of the tub and give my scalp a vigorous scrubbing down and how nice it used to feel. All tingly and alive. And now I wonder if that's the sort of thing all big sisters do or if it's just another one of those things I should chalk up to being born into the right clan.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Was reading Rapunzel's blog today and wishing I was hanging out at the Tiki bar with her and the bikers and it made me think about my last trip back home. My sister Wendy and I had stopped to get a bite to eat and as were leaving the restaurant we noticed a dog sitting on the back of a parked Harley. We giggled and talked to the dog and she tilted her head at us but never budged from the back of the bike. After we pulled onto the highway Wendy told me to look behind us and there was the Harley dude and his dog. So as soon as we stopped at the next red light I jumped out of the car and asked the biker if I could take a picture and he didn't even hesitate, just snapped his fingers over his shoulder and said, "Here Bo! The lady wants your picture!".



A bit later he pulled into the left turning lane and slowed down parallel with us so that I could get an even better shot.



And speaking of bikers... this is my sweet-ass brother-in-law Aaron who has the smoothest, softest, best Carolina drawl ever, ever, ever.

Friday, May 22, 2009





Every couple of months I fall in love with "Boy's For Pele" all over again and John has to endure listening to my twangy pseudo-falsetto. I was fortunate enough to see Tori live in Charlotte around the time this came out. Because of this I pretty much think I'm the shit.

The other video is of this young dude who rocks a piano like nodody's bidness. Turns out he's from NC too.
Today Lynn asked me how I would define "Integrity". Discovered that I couldn't put it into words until she and I discussed it and together we came up with something that wasn't half bad: Living your life with purpose and intent. Staying true to that purpose. Which is interesting because then it becomes spiritual. I guess I never really thought about "integrity" in those terms. I always associate it with physicality and action. But from now on, for me at least, it has taken on a quieter, more serene definition.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Swiffer Tail




John went to Petco this morning and bought a flea/tick comb for the boys. He said he came home and tried it on Mae-Mae. He said combing Mae is like emptying a fishing net. I asked if he got any ticks off of him. He said "Nope, no ticks, but I got some seaweed and a toilet seat."

Monday, May 18, 2009

I woke up this morning completely confused. Had no idea where I was or if it was a week day or a sleep day. Had that palpitating nauseau. That coupled with seeing Ernesto walking WAY-ASS down the drive way at 6am made for an off-kilter day.

What I've read: "The Keepsake" by Tess Gerritsen. Pretty decent.

What I'm reading: "Plainsong" by Kent Haruf.

Forgot I have a small vacation coming up in a few weeks so I had to come home and buy a plane ticket before prices went crazy. So I'll be with the famdamnily June 10-14. Mama wants me to clean her house. I'm gonna do it but I'd rather get beaten with a bag of oranges. I think I'm gonna drink a lot of muscadine wine and eat too much fried shrimp and do whatever my mama tells me to do.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

What I did today: Ate breakfast with John. Zoomed in and out of Wal-Mart in under 15 minutes and bought gum, lifesavers, pancake mix and pet clippers. Got my hair cut. I now have side bangs and a choppy uber-trendy did. Aren't salons the best? Pamper me and spritz me and make me feel special. So after that, I came home and raked up literally 10 wheel barrow loads full of pine needles. Then I attempted to cut Bea's fur with said clippers. She looks like she got into a smackdown with a weed whacker and lost. Decided to take clippers back to Wal-Mart tomorrow. Then I played Pogo for an hour and then I ate Taco Bell for supper and then I picked 40-hundred ticks off the cats even though we just put Frontline Plus on them a week ago. Then I showered and shaved my legs and now I'm craving a McLatte.

Friday, May 15, 2009

So I'm supposed to go play bingo with the girls tomorrow morning. Let this be said: I suck at bingo. I never understand any of the patterns and they call the numbers out too fast and it takes at least 2 of the girls to babysit me because I'm slow as dirt dotting my games. But we always laugh like hell. Plus, we play at Foxwoods Casino and they give out some bangin' good prizes. The last time I was there -like a year ago- this little old lady sitting behind us won a car. She was only mildly excited so I'm pretty sure she didn't have her Miracle Ear turned up. Probably had no clue what the hell was going on.

Anyway, going to play bingo always makes me think about this episode of "Roseanne". The best part starts at minute 4:10.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

My boys are nearly a year old. Seems like yesterday I was woo-ing them with wienies and now... now they're adults. With their own little defiant personalities. Last night it was 9:30 before we could get Lenny and Ernesto inside. They sat on the roof, blinking down at us. "The hell with you!", I screamed up at them. "The hell with you damn cats! I hope the coyotes roast you on a spit!" Then immediately felt full of contrition. And today when I came home from work John was giving Lenny a stern lecture. "Your behaviour last night was unconscienable. It was without a conscien."

This is why we don't have human children. Too much crazy up in these genes.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Nearly the middle of May and I'm in long pants and sleeves and I'm still chilly. Not that I mind it. Quite the contrary. I prefer this. If I'm living in New England I want New England weather. If I'm in NC it'd better be 85 with the sun shining bright as a bastard. I'm just saying... it ain't too warm. Beautiful. But decidedly cooler.

I'm home from work again today. Yesterday was hookie. Today I've got a serious case of the run-for-the-border belly hurts. The vapors if you will. Or won't. Makes no difference to me cause I'm home bound. Funny how I have no problem sharing my gastrointestinal woes with complete strangers on the interweb. Sort of exactly how I am with strangers in the real world.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Modern Trailer Folk Art



The sweetest, smelliest, most dog-like, boy-o, kitty-o in the whole goddamned world.
Today I'm playing hookie and I defy you to give me shit.

Used book stores by the sea. That's our destination for this Monday morning.

What I'm reading: "Aunt Dimity's Death" by Nancy Atherton. Terribly sweet and cozy. I swear I'm gonna read me some of that Nietzsche real soon.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I'm not one to get too excited about shiny, new things. 'Specially if I didn't get them for next to nothing at the Salvation Army. That being said - John bought me a brand new Sony Cyber-shot! It was on sale for like 40% off and we wound up with the demo-model which made it even cheaper. Maybe now I'll be able to take a picture and not have everyone in it lookin' like they're jaundiced.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mama called me early (for me) this morning. She said she'd had the old dream about her Mama. The one where she realizes she hasn't talked to her in such a long time and when she tries to call her she can't remember the number. It's one of those frustrating, deeply sad dreams because my grandmama died in 1989. You never love anyone like you love your Mama. No matter what. I said: "Mama, I'll do anything in the world for you. Anything in my power. I know you don't necessarily need me. But if you want me, I'm there. Just tell me." And she said: "I know, honey. Can you give me back my Mama? Cause that's what I really want." And I said: "I wish like hell that I could. But that's exactly how I feel about MY mama. Sometimes it's the absolute only thing that will do."

I guess it's harder for us - my Mama and my sisters and myself - to ask for what we want than it is for us to give it. Such a conundrum. Because what we want is to be wanted.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I'm trying desperately not to have a nasty attitude. Instead, I'd rather just dig a hole, line it with leaves, and curl up in it. To distract myself, this is a list of books I loved with a purple-nurple passion when I was growing up:

1- The Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books - Betty McDonald
2- The Boxcar Children - Gertrude Chandler Warner
3- Mischievous Meg - Astrid Lindgren
4- Harriet The Spy - Louise Fitzhugh
5- The Trouble With Soap - Margaret Cuyler
6- Wait Till Helen Comes - Margaret Downing Hahn
7- The Thing at the Foot of the Bed - Maria Leach
8- The Ghost of Dibble Hollow - May Nickerson Wallace
9- To Take a Dare - Crescent Dragonwagon
10- The Babysitter's Club series - Ann M. Martin
11- Anastasia Krupnik - Lois Lowry
12- Ripley's Believe It Or Not

Monday, May 4, 2009



Apple Blossom picture taken from our rickety-ass front porch. Pretty, huh?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Just finished "Dial Me For Murder" which is the last in the series by Amanda Matetsky. It's set in the 1950's and makes me all nostalgic for an era I came no where close to experiencing. This Nifty Site is chock full of good stuff. And by good I mean deliciously un-PC.
The sweet and low-down: Daddy's home from the nursing/rehab. home. Mama's having surgery May 15. Those two are about more trouble than I'm worth.

Sherry called a few nights ago and we talked for 2 hours which is really quite pithy for a Sherry call. We reminisced about all of our Myrtle Beach trips. Michelob and sunburns and "Welcome Back, Kotter". Even though we don't talk to one another nearly as much as we should, I still love her more than my luggage.

John and I just got back from Chris's 30th birthday party and now I have a slight beer buzz. When we left Chris was well on his way to being hammered.

John: You're turning 30. This is what you're supposed to be doing on your 30th birthday.

Me: Yeah. Ask John what he was doing on HIS 30th.

John: Time.

It's funny cause it's true.