Thursday, July 30, 2009

That Girls Done Gone YouTube Crazy

Anyone else sick of me stealing from the Youtube? I'd like to promise that I'll lay off for a while but I'd be a gotdang liar.

This Ben Harper session is just dreamy.

Ask John. I have a bit of a weakness for black men who play guitars. Secretly I think it's how he got me to listen to his kind of music. He hooked me with Robert Cray and I was so blinded by the beauty of it that I sat still long enough to listen to James Taylor. Whom I abhor.
My darlingest doll of a friend Natalie posted a link to this over on the Facebook. I think it's pretty rad.

By the way: Natalie is a member of The Muses. Go take a listen to them. They're pretty rad too!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Go into your bathroom. Shut the door and the windows and don't turn on any ventilation of any kind. Now take a really hot shower for about 20 minutes. Get out of the shower. Dry off. Stand there for about 30 seconds. Now, you feel that? That wall of smothercation? That's exactly what it feels like here. Like wearing a sopped up wet blanket suit.

I'm terribly contrary as of late. It's annoying. Here, accept these as my apology:

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Last night I made brownies. At 9pm. This has rapidly declined into the worst gastro-intestinal nightmare of a summer ever. Pizza and chips and fast food and Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Bun and hell, ya'll - I'm drinking a fountain Cherry Coke as I type. Shameful. On the way to work this morning I ate 1/2 a ham sandwich with Miracle Whip slathered on it and then I inhaled 3 brownies. Granted they were like an inch in diameter, but still. It was 6 in the morning. The best part is that I want to feel guilty. I know I should feel guilty. But I think I'm more in awe and bemused than anything. All I can think is that when I get back from my vacation, John and I are going to plunge head first into the season of homemade vegetable soups and protein shakes.

But for now, here's the recipe for the most bitchin-est homemade brownies I've ever had the pleasure of hoovering:


1/2 cup butter
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder


1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour an 8 inch square pan.
2.In a large saucepan, melt 1/2 cup butter. Remove from heat, and stir in sugar, eggs, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat in 1/3 cup cocoa, 1/2 cup flour, salt, and baking powder. Spread batter into prepared pan.
3.Bake in preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Do not overcook.

*copied from AllRecipes

Monday, July 27, 2009

There's a storm a-brewing. We've been having a couple a week up here which is nice because OCD John has to unplug everything electrical and that means I don't have to tolerate that damn television. I hate that damn television. And that damn phone. I hate that damn phone even more than I hate that damn television. So in another half hour they'll both be electra-non-grata.

It was a weird-ass weekend. By weird, I mean disturbing. Too much back story to share right now. And I really wouldn't be giving the whole situation the attention it deserves if I half told it. I'll collect my thoughts and ramble about it all in my next post.

Going back home for a visit next week. More cleaning and bonding and drinking and sweating.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Mae-Mae: Piece Mealing It

This is what we hear through out the day. That tiny scrape and then munch-munch-crunch. For what seems like hours at a time. Cause he's only eating one stinkin' piece and it must take forever to feel full. Honestly though, we never really knew what he was doing in there because whenever we tried to roll up on him he'd go all Michigan J. Frog on us.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Tonight I'm directing traffic to Tonya's kickass blog because she's posted both the wedding video and the facebook song video and I think they're the cat's pajamas.

Also, I'm sure this is of little interest to anyone other than my sisters, but I've created a blog for planning our up-coming Savannah vacation. THIS is the link. It's also listed in my "Good Stuff" under suhstergurl.

That being said... this week has drained the life out of me. The humidity and the rain and the constant whir of mosquito wings in my ears are all driving me to drink. I say that figuratively because I'm really not much of a drinker anymore. Which is probably unfortunate because I'm just about the most pleasant and sweet drunk you can imagine. Doesn't matter though, does it?

What I'm reading: "The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie" by Alan Bradley. loves it.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Decided to take Bette's advice.

Also thought she'd appreciate this picture I made John snap on his Blackjack yesterday.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

For my birthday, John and I decided to argue and snip at one another. It was delightful. In between the eye-rolling and muttered swearing he took me to see "Harry Potter". That part was fun. Really fun. I love everything about HP and I think JK Rowling is the second coming. After the movie we attempted to eat in peace at Chipotle cause I love burritos almost as much as HP. However... that failed rather miserably so we brought the burritos home and John made me take a nap.

That was all yesterday. Today was a bit better. And since today is my official 33rd birthday, I got to eat cake and ice cream and I read in bed and John and I only got into one nas-tay altercation. He put me down for my nap a little earlier so that I would be well-rested for my cake and ice cream party.

Tonight I plan on watching Miss Marple on Masterpiece Theatre, eating more cake and hanging out with the boys.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Standing in line at Dunkin' Donuts the other day, the older guy behind me ordered -in a very thick Slavic sounding accent-, "A large iced coffee with 7 cubes of ice."

Oh yes he did.

John says he would've given him 8 just to be a ball buster. I said I would've given him 7 but only after I meticulously inspected each one.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

There are things I'd like to talk about. Like how it's really nasty humid here. Not hot. But still tropical. The kind of humid that pools at the small of your back and makes pulling your underwear up and down extra difficult. And how it's probably gonna rain soon and that's okay because all the c-a-t's are inside so we don't have to play doorman during a monsoon which is always fun and dry.

Then there's the family of raccoons that are living in the woods and eating our leftover kibble and swinging from our apple tree:

There's also the fact that I need to buy a plane ticket for my next cleaning foray back home. But I'm probably gonna have to fly out of Boston if I don't want to pay through the nose and I hate Logan airport. I have my reasons.

There are books I've read: a couple disappointing Nancy Atherton mysteries and "Evan's Gate" by Rhys Bowen. The movies I've watched: Miss. Marple on Masterpiece Theater. The decision I've made to lay off of sugar and salty snacks for a while. How I need to exercise more and get a gotdang decent haircut and how I've discovered a few white hairs at my temples and how I never thought that sort of thing would cause me to hyperventilate but what do you know? I did.

The excitement I feel because the sisters and I are going to Savannah the first week of October *You got that Angie?* and that means I get to find us a place to stay.

Finally, I'd like to talk about how John's taking me to the movies (Harry Potter!)and then out to eat this weekend. And how that makes everything a bit more tolerable.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Alright people... you heard it here first. I may be leaving John for Kevin Skinner the unemployed chicken catcher. I can't stop crying. What the hell's the matter with me for cripes sake?

Happy Birthday to My Suhster!

For the record: We were in about the 12th hour of cleaning Mama's room so us is looking pretty rough. And we'd just found a shopping bag full of those mirrors hanging on a nail in the back of her closet so we were trying to figure out why one little woman would want or need so many friggin' mirrors. This was one of our answers.

Today is Wendy's birthday. And in the grand tradition of being a little shit I'll go ahead and tell you that she's 47. Oh girl, you know I loves you.

Okay, so Wendy is the be all end all funniest chick I've ever known. Ever. There's crap she said like 15 years ago that I still quote. In between my college years and my move north, she and I used to spend many a weekend traveling Blue Ridge mountain roads listening to Dolly Parton and CSN&Y, trying to hike trails to waterfalls and haunting witch/bookstores. I miss those times more than one can imagine.

A few thangs I love about Wendy:

1) She's really funny. It bares repeating.
2) She's warped in the best possible way.
3) When I need to vent about Mama and Daddy, she KNOWS.
4) She loves books as much as I do.
5) She's an animal person and a garden digger.
6) She's the Mama of 2 girls and the Nana of 2 girls and they all look exactly like her.
7) She says things like: "Wal-Mart was having a 1/2 off sale on Velveeta so I bought 5 of 'em. Girl, I'm the QUEEN of the trailer park now!"

Grease Weezer

Happy Birthday Wendy!!!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Oh sa-nap, ya'll! I'm learning how to crop and shade and color in the lines with the Picasa. I've wasted at least an hour with this mess. But I gotta tell you. It was sort of fun.

Today I had to make an emergency doctors appointment. Yes. The Poison Ivy is that bad. I've always been one of those pitiful ass youngins with the crusty nose and the bleeding mosquito bites and all sorts of nasty skin maladies... impetigo, ringworm, cat-scratch fever... When I was 9 I had a rampant case of cold and canker sores on my upper lip of all places. It was barely noticeable. Particularly after they bled and crusted over the 5th time. When I was 11 I had the cat-scratch fever which affected the lymph node in my neck. Swelled up like a goiter for a couple of months until it finally burst the night of the Christmas play. You can't make this shit up.

So here I sit. Nearly 25 years later, the brand new owner of my very own 12 day course of Prednisone. Covered in Caladryl. Still whiney and high maintenance.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

i refuse to buy wonder bread

Further proof that John is a suburban white guy.
My house is a shit-hole so I've decided that rather than clean it, I'm just going to move to one of these fetching dwellings. This is what I've done most of the afternoon. Google houses I've always loved and pretend like someone's going to give me one of them.

The Burrow. Also known as the Weasley's home.

Hagrid's Hut.

Barbara Stanwyck's house in "Double Indemnity". Dammit I love that movie. And that house.

And lastly, this house in Southport, NC that Angie and I oohed and ahhed over. I told her if she bought it I'd come live with her. For some reason, even that wasn't enough incentive.
I like 3 day weekends so much that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that they happen more often.

Last night I made Butterscotch Brownies which are really just blondies except I added a tablespoon or so of cocoa powder to the mixture and they came out so good that I went to bed last night with a sugar headache. Serves me right. Woke up this morning and my arms are so covered in poison ivy that I look like I've got leprosy. It's the damn cats faults. They waller in the woods and I waller all over them. I have to tell you though, scratching poison ivy bumps until they bleed is just about orgasmic. It's that superb.

This morning I ran errands. Bills and farmers markets and Wal-Mart and coffee and Chinese food. I always wait until the middle of summer and then I head to the half-priced flower section at Wal-Mart. It's like the flower infirmary. I pick out a hand full of the healthiest looking dying plants and I buy a $1.97 bag of potting soil and spend a Sunday playing Clara Barton.

Movies we've watched: "Phone Call From a Stranger" an old one with Shelley Winters and Bette Davis. We kept pausing it so we could talk about how much we liked it. "Knowing", a Nick Cage movie. It was tolerable. Then I checked my brain at the door and we watched "Step Brothers". It was stupid and profane and it made me laugh way more than it should have.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Posted by Picasa

Last night I played around on Picasa and tried editing this picture of Sage. It's way blurry. But she's just about the cutest little chunk of a curly headed blonde baby girl that I've ever seen.

Everyone's all up in the air about the weather and how we're not really having a summer and it rains all the time. Of course, I have to be contrary. I'm a regular Contrary Mary. I like the rain. And I like not having a hot-ass summer. That said, I took the day off from work and John and I headed north to New Hampshire for the day. With no real destination in mind we wound up at Canterbury Shaker Village. They don't allow photography inside so you'll have to trust me when I say that those Shakers could build the hell out of some furniture. So basically the village is a commune and communal living fascinates the shit out of me. I used to want to live on one until I realized that everyone needs to be skilled at something for it to work. So unless snarkiness and spewing forth inappropriate remarks constitute skills, I'm pretty certain the commune folk can live without me. Back to the village... it was really the most lovely kind of summer day imaginable. Here are a few pictures.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I find myself frequently disappointed with people who do not love animals. To each his own and all of that, but when I discover that someone has no pets or if they out and out say that they don't care for cats or dogs or water dragons or what the hell ever, that person becomes automatically non-existant in my eyes. It's one of the few characteristics that someone can display that will cause me to never want to speak to them again. I don't care if you feed the hungry and clothe the poor and spend your summers re-building war torn villages in Honduras. If you don't display compassion towards animals you're not worth my time. Be glad the Hondurans need your cold ass because I sure as hell don't.


I mean honestly. Who couldn't love this?

Friday, July 3, 2009

So I've been working just a crazy amount of hours this week. And I was trying to be all positive about it and tell myself that it's all good because then we can save up some money and I can afford my next vacation and all that but the real bitch of the matter is that I was so exhausted from all the working that I neglected to check my bank account so I overdrew and so things like a $2 cup of coffee wound up costing me $27 with the bank fees and now instead of squirreling money away I'm breaking even. Exactly even. I know that it's gauche and unseemly and just plain old common as pig tracks to talk about money and I also know that I should be thankful that I'm even instead of negative but really ya'll- I'm just disgusted.

Of course I blame John for all of this. John who was up this morning at 6 doing all of our laundry. John who's been scooping out litter boxes and de-ticking cats and vacuuming floors and washing sink loads of nasty-ass dishes and fielding phone calls from friends and family and rubbing my aching feet and shoulders and telling me every 3 minutes that he loves me and asking me how I can manage to be so pretty when I first wake up (even though I'm almost positive he was being a smart ass). Yeah, him... he's the one I blame. Big ol' doofusy tool.

So this post is for John. "Don't you know that if I didn't love you, you'd be dead by now?"

Also: A special thank you to Rapunzel for the link to the new blog look. I was wondering what I'd be doing this July 4th weekend and now I have my answer... trying out every single layout at least 3 times a piece.