Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Poor Mae's had the runs for a few days. Too much info? Well he's also been scooting his ass across the kitchen floor. How's that strike you? We've been chasing him around with a spray bottle full of Clorox water. So yesterday Mae visited with Dr. Norris and now Mae is on antibiotics because he's been drinking out of the wrong mud puddle and has himself a bit of an infection. The vet assistant told him his fangs were "the bomb", and that made him feel a lot better. Just thought everyone should know that it's not always photo ops and glamour. Sometimes this whole cat business is messy work.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Aveeno rocks my world. I love it so much that I'm dedicating an entire blog post to it. I use the face wash and the body wash and the shampoo and conditioner which are magical. I'm a shampoo slut. I enjoy spending ridiculous amounts of money on hair product. I'll walk around with holes in my under britches but by god I treat my hair like Mariah Carey treats her dog. So it's much to my advantage that I can buy Aveeno on the cheap at WalMart. Really y'all. It's some good shit.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


Lunch in Southport at Yacht Provisions.

This was two meals worth of food courtesy of Two Fat Ladies Over A Simmering Pot in Wilmington. That macaroni ain't no joke.

I miss my sustah gurls. Who else but my grills understands the impact of both a crazy mama and a plate full of smothered shrimp? Not nobody. That's who.

This weekend I finally finished "Savannah Breeze" by Mary Kay Andrews. Watched the new Miss Marple and The Book of Eli. Listened to all of my bones pop and creak and wondered for the 28th time if it's just symptomatic of getting older or if it is indeed Lyme disease.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Rockin' The KB

This is as close as you'll get to seeing a picture of me in a bathing suit. Even though I don't mind if you see me in one in person. Even though I bought a cute purple 1940's style old lady one. I just don't want any hard evidence.

So I made sure I was in the ocean every day. Most days I waited until after four or five in the evening. But this particular picture was taken early in the morning on my last day. I was the only person in the water for as far as the eye could see. It was glorious and blessed and I floated out there and cried for a little bit because sometimes being alive is just perfection.

I reckon when the heat index is upwards of 110 degrees and the humidity is like 95, all the old people have to take naps. Seriously, we'd only been back at the house for like ten minutes and before you know it, they were all snoring in harmony. It was cute. Pathetic. But cute.

Rachel likes donuts. And wings. And pizza. And ice cream. And... well, you get the picture. But only because I snapped it when she least expected it. She's still Helen of Troy pretty. Even when her mouth is full of fried sugary goodness.

Eating Britt's donuts in the Southport cemetery. Cause we're sort of strange like that.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Woof !

The Sartorialist

I couldn't not share this. Go on and click on the picture so you can get all up in his grill.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I got the Pizin' Ivy again. On my arms AND the bottoms of my feet. I attempted to identify Jewelweed as it's supposed to help heal the poison, however, in order to get to the Jewelweed I had to tromp through the poison. That and I was also afraid I'd end up plucking the wrong weed and wind up smearing myself with Belladonna or something. Next thing you know I'd be launching myself from the roof of the barn, thinking I was a flying monkey. What a damn dilemma. I blame the cats, of course. I'm pretty sure the cause of my suffering started something like this:

It's a wonder I don't have it all over my lips.

What I've read: A Royal Pain by Rhys Bowen, The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt and I'm about to start The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl.

John and I watched Shutter Island this afternoon and I took a three hour nap. The temperature hasn't hit 70 once this weekend which is some fine-ass preparation for tropical Kure Beach where it's 95 degrees with 80% humidity. Fine-ass preparation, I tell you.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I called my Mama this morning and we talked for an hour and half during which time she told me that she had an earwig infestation which made me laugh until I cried. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because the word earwig is so antique and British sounding and I've never known anyone to actually use the term. We've just always called them 'those nasty little pincher bugs'. Maybe it's because she was so dead-on serious about it and upset because she said she poured straight-up Clorox on them and "they just dove in and swam out the other side". I'm not sure. At any rate, John e-mailed me the delightful image above which just sent me off into another bout of hysterics and has caused me to truly examine how unsophisticated my sense of humor has become.

Friday, June 11, 2010

When I finished Flat Stanley's scrapbook last month, the instructions I was given said to return him to Abby's school. But this was the last week of school for the kids back in Lincoln County so Abby got to bring Stanley and his book home with her. This picture makes me happy.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Other T and A

Anyone out there still write in journals? I do. I have a hundred of them. Actually it's probably more like ten or so. Some I use more than others. I love them like children and treat them like bras or shoes. Meaning: don't sit on my couch or bed because you'll probably get a journal or a flip flop up your ass. My point though, is that I was flipping through a journal that I use primarily for story ideas and I found this:

I found it among my mama's things last year when I was attempting to clean her pantry and spare room. It's a sort of comic book/pamphlet they gave me when I had my tonsils taken out nearly thirty years ago. I loved this booklet. It gives me a warm rush every time I see it, even though I remember hiding behind the chair in the doctor's office during one of my ENT visits. The copyright says 1976. But I think I had the procedure around '81. I was one of those kids with a perpetual runny nose and the chapped upper lip to prove it. That, and I threw up all the time because of the post-nasal-drip. I weighed 25 lbs my first year of school. I looked like a war orphan.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

John Singer Sargent

I love what this man does with women. It's deeply sexual and reverent all at once. I can't help but think that he must've slept with all of his subjects. Their hands give it away.

For my birthday next month, I've asked John to take to me to The Met. I just want to spend a summer day in the city with the majority of it being inside, staring at art and elbowing Yankees and tourists.

Speaking of Yankees... today we saw an old dude in a motorized wheelchair get run over by an equally old lady in a truck. This all went down in the parking lot of the grocery store about 45 seconds after the old dude in the chair took a left hand turn -across a couple lanes of traffic- in front of us. With out a warning or a glance behind him. Just swooped right across traffic. We weren't all that surprised when the lady nailed him. Then John tried lifting the chair off of the man and got yelled at by some retired paramedic with a Napoleon complex. So John stuck his finger in the ex-paramedic's face: "Don't you yell at me." And the guy looked up at John, stopped yelling and apologized and shook his hand. But then he yelled at John again when John attempted to re-direct traffic. Told him he wasn't licensed to do that and that people are sue-happy. John said, "Let 'em sue me. I got nothing." Afterwards, we made jokes about carrying around our bank statements and letters from collection agencies, just in case we're in the position to help someone. "Now, I can help remove the shark from your leg, but you're gonna need to take a look at my portfolio and then sign this waiver."

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I was supposed to have a girl's night out with this little chick's:

Mama and another friend. However, I wound up having to work until 5:30 this evening, thus missing out on all the fun. It really bit the big one. I miss girl's nights.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Just booked a trip to visit my teeny big sister. As luck would have it, today is her birthday. I honestly wouldn't know of a better birthday present than finding out I'm gonna be knocking on your door in a couple of weeks, covered in cat fur, seeking refuge, eating up all of your food and teaching your children new cuss words.