Sunday, November 28, 2010

When we asked him how the hell he got up there he looked really, really embarrassed for us.

Yesterday was the anniversary of John's 20th year of sobriety. Twenty years clean and sober. It's mighty damn impressive and I'm mighty damn proud of him. If you know a recovering addict who isn't a complete doucher, you should tell him/her how proud you are of them because it's some serious bidness. I mean, he and I joke about it a lot but that's only because we're a couple a socially inept sick-o's.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

My girl Adele. She of the porcelain skin and smokey voice of perfection.

Friday, November 26, 2010

snappin' necks and cashin' checks

Years ago I allowed my sister Wendy to talk me into doing a Black Friday run for her. I swore I'd never do it again. But this morning I broke my oath. At a quarter till five, John and I were sitting outside of Radio Shack chugging coffee and sizing up the competition. Four Acer netbooks. That's all they had and when it was all said and done we were the fourth folks in line. Now, I'm not really a violent type of person. I talk shit a lot. I'm almost always angry about something. But I don't recall ever being in a physical altercation. Today was no exception. But I swear that if that fifth loudmouth lady in line would've gotten my netbook I would've beat her senseless. I'm not proud of it. I am however pretty pleased with myself for getting such a kick-ass deal on this here little beaut. Been waiting a long time for my piece of the tech action. I'd like to give a shout out to my main man and the brawn behind this operation. You know who you is.
Talkin' 'bout you John. High five!

First picture taken with the new computer. I don't have any editing tools set up yet, but that's me and the Lenster. He's so sweet he poops sugar cubes.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

These crackers are ridiculously good. They're so good I'm thinking about whipping up a pseudo-dip to go along with them. They're so good, I'm contemplating putting on a bra and going to the store to pick up a chunk of colby jack cheese because they're so good they need to be introduced to a food partner so's they can conjugate and make happy babies in my mouth. That's how good they are.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Yesterday I picked up Mae and smooched all over him because that's a nightly ritual I try very hard to adhere to and at the end of all the smooching I noticed that my cheek was wet and at first I was all, "Yuk, cold cat slobber." -never mind that I had just slobbered on him- but then I quickly figured out that it wasn't slobber. That it was instead, a smear of puss and infection because the Mae had himself an abscess beneath his ear that I had somehow neglected to notice. The abscess burst and left Mae with a gaping, bubbly, bloody hole in his silly little head. Now, I love Mae-Mae. God knows I do. But he's a goddamn mess of a cat. If he's not laid up with the Giardia poops then he's destroying anything precious and dear to my heart during one of his skittish jolts. But, like I said, I love him. So we hauled him to the vet where she determined that the abscess was probably caused by one of Mae's idiot brothers chewing on him like he's a candy apple. So Mae's on antibiotics. Again. And today we were back at the vets office. Again. Not with Mae this time, but with Bea who already had an appointment for a checkup. We've been trying to schedule the vet appointments every two weeks but it hasn't worked out so well lately. We're there so often I'm thinking about inviting Dr. Norris and her brilliant half-a-whack-job self over for Thanksgiving. But, Mae's head hole looks a hundred times better today and Dr. Norris gave Bea a cortisone shot so maybe now Bea will quit trying to scratch her neck off, plus, she said Bea's teeth look fine which is a huge relief because A) I was not looking forward to having to fork over even more cash to have her teeth cleaned and yanked and B) she's old as dirt and frankly, I'm scared that she won't wake up from the anesthesia. There. I said it. Of course, the little witch bit the shit out of my hand while I was trying to keep her from falling off of the exam table so she'd better start flossing if she knows what's good for her.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Lately I've just been listening to a lot of music. New stuff and older stuff and mostly just stuff that's new to me. Tim, who's a buddy of mine from work, goes to all these concerts and festivals and has been writing down names of singers and viola players and then later on that night I do my homework. Well this is tonight's homework:

This made me well up and feel better about my generation. Because lately... well, lately I've been feeling jaded and disoriented with things. Not my personal life, but life in it's most existential form. I think that's why I'm seeking out the artists and balladeers. I need some truth sung to me.

Also, I'm all kinds of pissed that my opportunity to be Queen has been snatched away from me by that Kate Middleton broad. It's gonna take some time for me to get over this. My old friend Courtney says she and I need to make up our own titles and I'm inclined to agree. I'm toying around with Her Royal Highness Lady Janet of Lankern.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Something you might not know about me: when I was eight years old I saw a cluster of unidentifiable creatures floating through the woods behind our house. It was winter and Mama had sent me to the woodpile because at the time we still had the wood heater in the house. I had one of the dogs with me and was about ten feet from the wood pile when I saw them. They were roundish/oblong and there were at least three of them and they didn't jump so much as they floated or bounced. I don't recall them being furry or having faces or appendages. They were more like masses. Maybe three feet in diameter and gray colored. They scared me shitless. I ran screaming and crying to the house. I was hysterical for hours. Later that day everyone came over and searched the woods but nothing was ever found. I have opinions and theories about what they could have been. Maybe someday I'll share a few of them. I've never seen anything else like that. Never seen a creature or a ghost or an alien. That was my one truly personal experience with the unexplained. That's all I got.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

oh anthropologie...

I don't know why you wanna do me this-a way.

And furthermore, you and I both know damn good and well that there's no way a pair of curtains will change my life.

So then why is it, that every time I look at these things I'm somehow convinced otherwise?


Sunday, November 7, 2010

So Bank Of America has this deal where they offer free admission to certain museums the first full weekend of every month. We've been to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston several times, but never for free. It was a lot more fun that way because then you don't feel obligated to look at every single piece of Chinese artifacts because you've dropped twenty bucks on the place. Still, we spent a good three hours with our jaws nearly unhinged and our sense of direction all screwed up because the place is fabulous but boy-howdy is it easy to get turned around. I went on a John Singer Sargent quest only to find out that while they do have a shit-pot full of his stuff, the really good stuff is "in the New American wing which doesn't open until next weekend". Well hell.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I managed to get 1100 words into my first NaNo effort before I figured out who was talking and what she had to say. It was quite a rush. Figuring out the basis of my novel.

This weekend I went to girl's night at Shari's and it seems the theme of the evening was cheese. Cheese dip and another kind of cheese dip and a platter of nachos with cheese sauce... plus, tonight, I had cheese and tortilla's for supper and I swear to Moses I probably won't poop for a year. We watched Knocked-Up and while I love me some girl-time, I truly hated that movie. It depressed the hell out of me and I didn't understand any one's motives. I read on the Imdb board that people were upset because Katherine Heigl was wearing a bra during the sex scenes and then they're applauding her for standing up for herself, for having integrity and for not wanting to ruin her career by going topless. Then someone else responds with some lame comment about how nude scenes didn't ruin Kate Winslet's career. Seriously? Are you effin' kidding me? Who the hell compares Katherine Heigl to Kate Winslet? I would spit in the eye of anyone who blasphemed in that manner in my presence. Then and there I decided that any movie that provokes that sort of jackassery is the sort of movie I can do way without.

In other news, Happy Halloween to all ya'll.